The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Reframing Pain & Finding Liberation
Walking the Path of Inner Knowing
To see clearly, you must first step outside the picture you are in.
To know yourself, you must listen to the quiet places within.
We spend our lives learning the rules of the world, how to fit into the spaces that existed before us, how to shape ourselves into something recognizable, something acceptable. But at some point, we are asked to unlearn. To return. To listen to the voice that has been speaking to us all along.
What is your philosophy for life?
What is the framework by which you navigate existence?
What do you believe about yourself, about love, about possibility?
Your mind is not a fixed landscape. Your beliefs are not stone, but clay. And yet, if you are unaware of them, they will shape your life without your consent.
If you have spent years coping through avoidance, suppression, or escapism, it is not because you are weak. It is because, at one point, it was necessary. But there comes a time when you will feel the weight of everything unspoken, unexpressed, unexamined—and you will know that to keep carrying it is the heavier burden.
A growth mindset is not about relentless striving, nor is it about perfection. It is about allowing yourself to expand beyond the edges of who you believed yourself to be. It is about making mistakes and not mistaking them for evidence of your unworthiness.
Emotional agility is a discipline, a devotion. It asks that we hold space for all of our emotions, not just the pleasant ones. That we do not discard discomfort, but allow it to teach us. That we see ourselves clearly and still choose to move forward.
The poet Seane Corn writes,
“True liberation comes when we can see our wounds, as well as the wounds of those who have hurt us, and honor the true beauty of our souls. When we reach this place of equanimity, we realize our experiences and traumas do not define us. They are simply parts of our life journey and vital for our soul’s evolution.”
To see our own wounds, to name them, to touch them with compassion instead of shame—this is the work of healing.
To remove the burdens that have held us back—this is the alchemy of transformation.
The language you use shapes your reality.
The words you speak about yourself become the foundation upon which you build your life.
Are your stories keeping you bound, or are they setting you free?
Are you telling yourself the truth of who you are, or simply the echoes of what you were once told?
Marisa Peer’s Three P’s: A Framework for Reframing Pain
When we are in pain, it is easy to believe that it is absolute, that it will always be this way. But not all suffering is permanent. When you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself:
1. Is it personal?
Does this situation define you? Or is it simply revealing something within you that wants to be healed?
2. Is it pervasive?
Is it truly affecting every part of your life, or is it simply touching a tender place that needs attention?
3. Is it permanent?
Or is it just a season, a chapter, a moment in time?
If you cannot answer “yes” to all three, know that relief is possible.
Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions. – Albert Einstein
You are more than what has happened to you.
You are more than what was withheld from you.
You are more than what you fear you will never become.
Vienna Pharaon reminds us,
“Life isn’t out to get you. It’s out to be healed. Your wounds don’t want to harm you; they’re tugging at you because you deserve relief.”
What if, instead of resisting your pain, you asked what it was trying to teach you?
What if, instead of trying to fix yourself, you simply decided to know yourself?
Victor Frankl once said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
And so, I ask you:
What will you choose?
